


Six Brothers and One Friend

by HewerOfCaves



Series: Fëanorian Week 2019 Stories [3]
Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Brotherly Love, Friendship, Gen, Siblings, Years of the Trees
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-27 03:51:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18189407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HewerOfCaves/pseuds/HewerOfCaves
Summary: Celegorm's relationship with his brothers.Written for:Fëanorian weekDay 3- Celegorm - >Childhood,Hunting, Orome & Huan, Strength & Beauty, Wickedness, Love/UnrequitedBack to Middle Earth MonthComplexities of CelegormN34: Brother (that square isn't crossed out yet, but it fits)





	Six Brothers and One Friend

**Author's Note:**

> This didn't come out the way I wanted. This is more a set of headcanons, than a real fic, but I'm way too tired and want to post it.
> 
> Not a native speaker, not beta'd.

Maedhros is a perfect older brother. (He’s also a perfect son, a perfect grandson, a perfect nephew, a perfect cousin and a perfect Noldo, but Celegorm focuses on what’s really important.) He always makes sure to spend time with Celegorm, guides him, helps him with his tasks, puts salve on his scratches, tells him stories and plays with him. He does everything a good brother should. It would be ideal if not for one thing: he’s not Celegorm’s friend.

Celegorm wants it more than anything. He tries to follow him whenever Maedhros leaves alone or with Maglor, but his brother almost always finds a reason to make Celegorm stay home. Even if he is forced to take him, they never do anything fun.

Sometimes he eavesdrops when Maedhros and Maglor are shut in a room, talking in whispers and snickering, but he can never understand what they’re talking about or why it’s so funny. When Fingon comes over, Celegorm can’t even bear to eavesdrop. His eldest brother’s eyes always light up when he sees their cousin. It makes Celegorm want to hit something. He knows he will never have the easy understanding Fingon and Maedhros do, the way they communicate without words, the way they break out laughing when seemingly nothing happens. Fingon is just a little older than Celegorm, so it’s entirely unfair that he gets to be Maedhros’s friend, while his own brother isn’t. 

For a while, Celegorm tries to imitate Maglor and Fingon, but he can’t break windows with his voice, and golden ribbons look stupid on his hair. For long years, he tries everything, but in the end, he is forced to give up and accept that Maedhros will never be more than a perfect older brother to him.

\---

Maglor, though, still can. And it’s not like he’s any less perfect than Maedhros. Celegorm isn’t a big fan of music. He loves it, of course, but he doesn’t have a passion for it, as Maglor does. His second eldest brother has taught him to play the flute, but Celegorm has never mastered the harp. He’s also learned to play the tambourine as a joke, but he enjoys it quite a bit. Still, he prefers the sound of the wind, the hooting of an owl, the howl of a wolf to elf-made melodies. But when Maglor plays, everything else disappears. Time itself stops existing, and often Celegorm finds that Telperion’s light has been replaced with Laurelin’s without him noticing. Celegorm has been listening to Maglor’s music from the day he was born, and it hasn’t lost its magic.

It’s not Maglor’s only talent. He can make jokes with a completely straight face. Sometimes, when Maedhros or one of their cousins or rarely even their father says or does something ridiculous, Maglor looks at Celegorm and raises an eyebrow. He does nothing else, just a single raised brow on an otherwise perfectly cool face, but it’s all Celegorm can do not to burst out laughing. Only then Maglor breaks into a wry smile.

At times like this, Celegorm's heart seems to grow in his chest and he basks in the feeling of belonging. He almost believes that he can be friends with Maglor, that they will be as close as Maglor and Maedhros are. It never happens.

Like Celegorm, Maglor idolizes their older brother. Unlike Celegorm, he has actually won Maedhros’s friendship, and there is no place for Celegorm in their inner circle.

\---

Caranthir is born when Celegorm is still stubbornly fighting for the friendship of first Maedhros and then Maglor. He is, of course, excited for his baby brother, but he prefers the brothers he’s known for a longer time. Besides, Caranthir is so small, he does nothing besides eating and crying, rather loudly. Maedhros and Maglor are more interesting.

It is only later, when he has despaired of trying to turn a duet into a trio, that he realizes the mistake he has made. He could have become for Caranthir what Maedhros and Maglor were for him. He could be the perfect, fun and loving older brother, but he was too busy being the younger one.

It’s too late now. Caranthir has grown into a quiet, brooding, but explosive young elf. Celegorm doesn’t know how to get past his thorns, how to undo the damage, how to make up for the lost time. He tries, but Caranthir only sneers at his attempts and sends him on his way with a few choice words for which even Celegorm’s masterful tongue finds no response.

He tells himself that Caranthir likes being on his own, tells himself that there was nothing he could have done, that it’s just the way his younger brother is, tells himself that if Caranthir wanted to be his friend, he could have tried to do something about it himself, as Celegorm did with Maedhros and Maglor.

He tells himself it’s not his fault, but he still feels a pang of guilt and longing in his heart when he thinks about it. He promises himself to do better if he gets another chance.

\---

Curufin trusts no one but his father from the day he is born. But Celegorm is nothing but stubborn and determined to avoid the mistakes he made with Caranthir. He talks to Curufin about everything, even when he is too young to understand. He does everything to be a perfect older brother, but also a friend. He considers it a success if he makes Curufin smile. Inch by inch, Celegorm wins the trust of his baby brother. He almost cries the first time Curufin hugs him on his own initiative.

Celegorm is often absent from home after Curufin’s birth. He’s roaming the wilderness of Aman with Oromë and Huan, hunting and learning the languages of all kinds of beasts. Surprisingly, his friendship with Curufin doesn’t suffer for this, on the contrary, it flourishes. Celegorm always has many exciting stories that Curufin listens to with wide eyes. He has the same expression he does when he is in the forge with father, and Celegorm’s afraid his heart will swell and burst with love and pride. 

In his turn, Curufin shares the latest news from home, gossips about their brothers and cousins, makes jokes that only Celegorm can understand. For the first time in his life, Celegorm’s brother is also his best friend. Deep in the forests, he sometimes doubts the truth of it and is incredibly relieved when returning home, he finds that it’s real. Maedhros and Maglor can keep their friendship to themselves, Celegorm has Curufin now, while Caranthir… He likes being alone. 

The others always look surprised when they see them together, talking and laughing easily. Celegorm knows he and Curufin are very different. He is loud, while Curufin is discreet; he likes to be in the center of attention, while Curufin prefers to control the situation from the shadows; he loves easily and with abandon, while Curufin takes time to open up and does it to only few select ones. It doesn’t make sense for them to be friends, but it works, and Celegorm doesn’t care about the why or how.

\---

Amrod and Amras are a miracle and a source of pride for the entire family. Everyone fusses over them, trying to do their best to ease Nerdanel’s burden. Celegorm is no exception. He keeps a close eye on the twins as they grow, takes them hunting when they have barely learned to ride and does everything in his power to make them see a friend in their older brother.

But they don’t need Celegorm. They are perfectly content with their own company, and though they enjoy the attention and they love all their brothers well, the only friends they want are each other. Celegorm doesn’t mind it much. He is happy Amrod and Amras have each other. The jealousy that he felt for the friendship of Maedhros and Maglor isn’t there anymore.

Everyone is talking about the twins, how similar they are, how they seem like the same person in two bodies, how their bond must be a special one. Celegorm agrees that his youngest brothers are very close, but even though he is not alike Curufin in face, he has no doubts that the strength of their friendship is no less. He doesn’t have the gift of foresight, but he knows for sure that whatever happens, his and Curufin’s paths will always lead to the same place.


End file.
